A Thousand Ghostly Words

After I posted this blog, I discovered this photo is known as “The Brown Lady.” Google the internet for images to see the photo suggestively retouched in a supernatural multitude of ways. So many want to believe that they are eager to convince us all.

Recently, this image was posted as yet another example of proof of ghosts. I love ghosts and other fictions and fictions about ghosts. In my first novel (yes, I am implying there will be more), I even included a relatively-unfictionalized report of my memory of sighting my own dead grandfather when I was a mere lad, in a chapter titled “My Grandfather Visits Me After Death After Midnight Early in My Life” (329-332, for those fortunately in possession of that exquisite volume).

This photo, however, is not evidence that ghosts actually exist. As gently as I can, let me note that this is a photograph with an obvious flaw or two in the quality of the medium or the processing. And setting aside all of the nearly infinite possibilities of image manipulation through hardware, software, and wetware, this image is not a ghost for a number of more significant and relevant reasons. That is just not a ghost. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

What this image reveals is your brain's capacity and evolutionary tendency to recognize the human form in even the vaguest of representations and sensory suggestions. Useful to all are a few minutes of research into pareidolia, our brains’ tendency to seek out patterns, especially human-shaped and -sized ones, which is so powerful that a circle containing two dots and a curved line is universally “recognized” as a smiley face.

Additionally, although we all believe that our senses report accurate information and that our brains interpret all that input correctly, these assumptions have been proven wrong time and again. Every book of trompe l’oiel, optical illusions, autostereograms, and other figure-field perceptual alternations, or what my personal astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson amusingly calls “brain mistakes,” demonstrates the rather severe mid-world limitations of our human senses.

Eye-witness testimony is also well known to be the worst, read absolutely least reliable, form of evidence in courts of law, and wrongful imprisonment, the murder of people of color in our streets, and the Innocence Project are only three of the results. Even a glance at the works of Escher demonstrates that our brains make small and substantial evaluation errors in many instances of perception. The answer to “Can we trust our senses?” is not really.

Relevant, too, are the issues of the lack of repeatability or verification or provenance for this image as well as the fact that ghosts are seen primarily by those who claim to believe in ghosts or who profit financially or have a significant personal and emotional stake in that claim. And whenever you personally--yes, you--call forth a ghost by means of séance or Ouija board or mirror-based repetition of “Bloody Mary,” in order to generate some stimulating afterlife conversation, you will get no response.

But what most surprises me with this image is what is not said. Considering the possibilities of the image and pareidolia, I think the following are relevant observations:

1) Why did no one who observed a ghost in this image not recognize that this photograph actually reveals a manifestation of the Virgin Mary? Even a cursory look should reveal her obligatory blue cloak, red blouse, and her mantle, or veil, if you prefer, and even her arms folded gracefully before her. If you can see this image now, that is the power of pareidolia.

2) And since this is an image of the Virgin Mary, why did no one mention that magnificently over-sized halo above her head, so powerful that the shape brightens even the wall behind her? Or maybe that is just the elliptical horizontal doorway through which she descended to descend the stairs. Or is that an alien spacecraft beaming Mary into our reality or an old house? Such is the power of the brain’s evolutionary software.

3) And what about that Great White Shark rocketing upward from below, who has already engulfed the feet and calves of the Holy Mother? Can’t you see that evil shark smile?

4) Why did no one mention that absurd pool noodle descending from the upper left and disappearing into the halo or the dimensional hole or whatever that weird oval is? Is this a celestial advertisement for Lourdes and other holy waters?

5) Finally, why did no one notice the teledemonic images of a tie-wearing newscaster replicated on opposing ends of at least seven of the bottom stairs, especially on the far left end of stairs 2 and 3 from the bottom of the photo. I realize that he is most likely reporting the very serious, supernatural shark attack on the Virgin, so I am content with the replication of his image so many times, but that is no reason not to pay attention.

All these points provide a more thorough look at the power of suggestion and frenzied interpretations in this particular photograph by a mind easily made mad for recognition and meaning. We humans investigate our planet with our eyes, ears, noses, mouths, and hands, and the brain creates meaning with all that data, whether the meaning accurately reflects the actuality around us or only the impressions we have been natured and nurtured to see.

Fiction about and photographs of ghosts and related spirits can be illuminating and pleasantly frightening, but I ain’t afraid of no ghosts because there ain’t any. As long as we’re only joking about such supernatural silliness, all is well, but do not fear even for a moment the thought that insubstantial representatives from the beyond are a threat to you or anyone else.

 Live a little. Be skeptical. For reality and actuality (and the occasional and lovely intersections of the two), accept no substitutes. And most important, have a great and beautiful day. Your safety is certainly in jeopardy, but only from your fellow humans, accident, illness, disease, unexpected meteors, and of course, the occasional pandemic. Research these last six topics thoroughly, apply the best knowledge and advice, vote on November 3, and I 100%-guarantee that you will never have anything to fear from ghosts.